This past year of my life has been unlike any other. It was the first time in 18 years that I wasn’t in school. I was super excited about being done and moving to my dream job to start working in a ministry I really wanted to get behind. I started off last summer well and was so sure I made the right decision to work at camp, but then the summer ended and everything got harder. All the people left and the ministering to people part of my job seemed to come to an end. For a while, I kept telling myself everything was okay because I love the place I work and the people I work for. Over time my view changed. It became harder and harder to do the background work for the ministry and not be able to do the ministering. I have struggled through this the whole year and have wanted to fix it, but I just held on to the hope that the summer was coming soon.
Fast forward to right now. As a camp, we have decided we will not be running our summer program this year (which in my opinion was logically the right decision), yet I feel crushed by the fact that it will be a whole year until I can do the thing that I love most again.
From most of the people I have talked to and also just from the things going on in the world around us, I think there is a lot of hurt and frustration. I don’t know what the answers to fix all the problems are (and if you know me, I want to fix all the problems) and I am so frustrated because I don’t know what to do.
Then, I found myself reading Ecclesiates 3:1-8. It’s a fairly popular passage, but nonetheless it says:
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.”
I was reminded me so quickly of my need to sit at the feet of Jesus and recognize this is a time that needs to happen. This is a season I don’t understand and I wish I did, but I do know that through this, the Lord will be glorified. Of this I am confident. I don’t have to get it or even be happy all the time about everything, but I do need to continue to worship my Lord and Savior in this time and love everyone around me.
There will be a new season and new time eventually, but until then my hope is still found in the Lord.